About the Election...

I'm not writing this post to gloat. I want to make that clear, first and foremost. It's fun to rattle cages and start trouble among the mouth breathers. That's not why I write, though....

Just kidding, i'm here to gloat...

I figured there were many ways to go about rubbing it in the collective faces of those who, somehow, thought that Mitt Romney would win the election. But you know what, they know what they did.

They spit in the face of America. And America, in turn, roundhouse kicked them in the face.

Instead, i'd like to show some love to the crazies that populate the comments. Those crazy coots who went down on the Romney boat like a band on the Titanic.  Because, without them, the election would have been a total, and complete bore...

I want to thank Vera Volpe, you wacky kid, you. You might have been among the loudest anti-Obama people out there. I know it burns, but hey, at least you get to keep posting anonymous comments on the Patch, pretending everything you say isn't borderline racist.

Francis Regan, don't think I forgot about you. You have had a bad fall, for sure.  You were really hard on the Romney bandwagon. And you were REALLY hard on that Drew Peterson is innocent bandwagon. Unfortunately for you, they crashed into eachother and fell out of the public eye like a neutron star collapsing into itself.

Kerry. I love you, Kerry. You actually said this summer that George W. Bush was a great foreign ambassador, and that everyone in other countries was laughing at Barack Obama. This is on the Mt. Rushmore of dumbest things ever said on the Patch. You deserve recognition for your delusion!

John Morelli. I hope. I desperately hope. You are reading this right now. You are racist, insane and a firework. You are everything I could have ever hoped for in a commenter. You are like Vera even though...you are Vera. It's almost disapointing to know that most of the tormenters on this site are actually one tormented person.

Look to your right. Look to your left. To one side is empty pop cans. To the right is a half-eaten Hot Pocket. All around you....that's just loneliness. You are one person posting under multiple names. Someone feels sorry for you somewhere.

Not me, though. Yep, spolier alert everyone. There isn't a series of people who are the most vocal against the views of our town. It's one person. One sad, desperate, lonely person reaching out in the hopes that anyone will care.

Why is this sad? Because the same person would post under multiple accounts.

Why is this hilarious? Because everyone that doesn't like me? Yep, you are echoing his views. John Morelli, Vera Volpe...that is one person. You guys are usng the same sad. lonely person as your battle cry. Your hero. Your person of interest.

Because you guys have no thoughts of your own, you've decided to latch onto one person, participating under multiple accounts. Not only can you not think for yourselves, you are letting one person do the work of multiple people's thinking under multiple statuses, one more off center and racist than the last.

I'm going to go to bed tonght thinking about how great of a night it was. Not just for me and gloriously being on the right side of the election. But also because so many of you are sheep, chasing the opinions of one sad, lonely person. Thank God I have an opinion that's my own...