This Week In Out Of Touch Adults

Sometimes I wonder why I'd ever need to write about national politics, when the asinine tactics of local ones are so much more entertaining.

As you probably know by now, The Original Plainfield High School's theater department was going to do a "high school friendly" version of "Rent." Then Head Killjoy Robert Smith decided that pandering to what he assumed would be a couple angry parents was a better option than allowing a school group to let their play go on.

Smith, who is actually not the lead singer of the Cure, nor is he the former Ohio State/Minnesota Vikings running back,  made a decision that might be popular among the secular bunch, whose heads are firmly entrenched in sand and/or each other's backsides, but doesn't sit as well with us heathens that understand that freedom to do things like this cannot be stifled.

And let's not forget Mary Boyd, the assistant killjoy who deserves a fair share of the blame. 

But, just to make sure that these out of touch administrators were vindicated, the even more out of touch school board decided that, instead of serving the students, you know, the little people who have to operate under this oppresive reign, they would pander (cannot use this term enough for this) to, again, an imaginary mob of angry theoretical parents.

Let's not forget: this is a homogenized version of the script. This isn't the original version of "Rent," this isn't "Book of Mormon;" this isn't even "Cats." It's a high school adapted play. Lets take a look at what some of the references that so ruffled administration's panties that Superintendent Harper mentioned in the earlier Patch article:

"I'm like a cat in heat..."

"I didn't notice you without the handcuffs..."

I'm like a cat in heat. I'M LIKE A CAT IN HEAT. I'M LIKE A CAT IN HEAT!!!!

You know what I do when my cat is in heat? I ignore my cat. You know what you do when they mention that in a play? You laugh off the statement because it's such an outdated statement in the first place.  Does anyone even listen to hip hop music nowadays?  There is no such thing as double entendres nowadays. This is downright clean.

As for not noticing you without the handcuffs ... ohhhh burrnnnnn. Yeah, that's a bad one. I don't know how I could ever recover from that one if it was being said about me. Just put a fork in me. This wasn't an aggressive statement in the '50s.  Everything was an aggressive statement in the '50s.

The musical Rent has won a Pulitzer Prize. It won the Tony Award for Best Musical. Here is a list of things that Plainfield administrators have won....

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Although I'm sure there is a county pie-eating contest that one of them won...

The fact of the matter is, the killjoys are pandering to the buzzkills. The buzzkills think nothing is wrong and that their little snowflakes aren't exposed to "scary" things. Unlike those in charge, I've been through the Plainfield school district in the past 40 years. Kids are exposed to these things at a younger and younger age, which is, overwelmingly, a good thing.

To be protected from all the bad things that happen in the real world leave children...wait for it...unprepared for the real world.  Bad things happen. Even in Plainfield. I'm not sure when people decided that Plainfield was still Mayberry, but Andy Griffith isn't walking through that door. Opie isn't at the fishing hole. And the cops have much more important things to deal with than Emmitt, the town drunk.

All this decision shows is that the oppressive, tyrannical reign of the Plainfield School District has no clue what happens in the real world. They are still in Mayberry. 

I really do feel bad for the students who are caught up in this. They really are the victims in this situation. They should have the right to do the play that they choose. It's not like they are going to be running around naked, sacrificing freshmen to the ACT gods. They aren't slaughtering animals. They are barely even swearing.

Way to leave a lasting legacy, Superintendent Harper. You are set to retire in 2014, and I speak for the sane people, the people that aren't offended by this, the people that realize that these students deserve better, don't let the door hit you on your way out.