A Blue Star Mother's Wish

How many of you remember, even if only from old movies, the simple rectangular banner hanging in the front window of houses emblazoned with a Blue Star? If you do remember, or have perhaps seen one around town, do you know what it means?

It is called the Blue Star Banner, and it means that a member of that family is off serving in war, an idea patented in 1917 by Army Capt. Robert L. Queissner.  In World War II, the Department of War issued specifications that standardized the size and circumstances under which this banner could be displayed, as it had become a very popular symbol for the families of our troops.

The tradition of displaying the Blue Star Banner fell off during the Vietnam era, but it has once again become popular. The yellow ribbon tied around a tree, and the more commonly seen yellow ribbon bumper sticker seems to have displaced that earlier tradition, but they are technically two different things.

Anyone who wants to show support for the military can tie a yellow ribbon on a tree or put a magnet on their car, but only those who have a family member serving in war can display a Blue Star Banner.

This lack of understanding of this important symbol by much of the general public is one of the many things that Blue Star families would like to see changed.

Jean Perle, a proud Blue Star mom and co-owner of here in Plainfield, says there are many things she wishes people understood about what it means to have a family member in the military, particularly when they are on deployment.

It can be hard to hear questions like, "What is this war is really about?" she says. At the same time, she says she is "happy to educate people, often shocking them in the process with stories of the brutality faced by our troops as well as the Afghan people."

She says sometimes it is necessary to shock people to get their attention, but her real intention is to raise awareness for our troops.

Jean says that most people, once they are given a chance to understand, do seem to realize the importance of supporting our troops, all of whom are volunteers, and recognizing the difference between support of our military and politics. Like many Blue Star moms, she would rather talk about ways to help our soldiers and their families, leaving the politics aside.

She is very active in her support of all our troops, even while her youngest son is deployed and in harm’s way. She volunteers her time with Operation Welcome You Home, Operation Support Our Troops America, and a semi-informal group of military moms she started who gather regularly to do everything from collecting items for care packages to just getting together for an evening out.

One of her favorite activities with that group is planting flower pots at Fisher House, something they started last year and hope to continue doing for many years to come.

Surrounding herself with people who “get it,” as well as assiduously avoiding anything in the media about the war, is how she gets through these grueling deployments. Because of her son’s job in the military, days and weeks may go by without any contact from him.

This is the life her son chose, and because there is nothing she can do to protect him – something every mother wants to do regardless of how old the "child" is - she stays positive by doing the things she can to make sure not just her child, but all the sons and daughters over there know people back home are thinking of them.

Still, not everything she does in support of the military is purely altruistic. Through her volunteer work with Operation Support Our Troops America, she has been able to fulfill one of her life’s ambitions, she says.

For more than five years now, OSUTAmerica has had "CSI: New York" actor Gary Sinise and his Lt. Dan Band headlining at their annual Rockin’ for the Troops fundraiser and concert at Cantigny Park in Wheaton. With his permission, she got to pinch Sinise’s butt. She laughingly says her life goals have been pretty simple.

When asked what is the one thing she wants people to know or understand about being a Blue Star mom, Jean is really stumped for a single answer. The closest she can come is to sum it all up, saying to just honor them, respect them and take care of them when they come home.

It is very telling that this military mom who has endured five deployments of her youngest child thinks first and foremost of the troops, even when asked about herself. People often wonder what kind of a person volunteers to put themselves in harm’s way, in foreign lands and far from the people they love.

The answer is the kind of person raised by people who believe in taking care of other’s before themselves.