The Economic Crisis is Over!

I would like to announce that I have solved the economic crisis and balanced the federal budget. Permanently. You're very welcome.

How, you ask? There are just a few simple steps.

1. Print all government documents in English only.

There is no need for a Constitutional amendment, the Constitution was written in English. Just carry on the precedent already set.

This will not only directly cut costs, it will give rise to a plethora of private industry jobs for translators. You want to find out how to get SSI and you don't speak English? (Yes, these documents really are printed in a multitude of languages.) There are private companies and individuals who can help you with that. Or you can go to school for free and learn English for yourself. Put the surplus from the printing budget into education.

2. Legalize, regulate and tax currently illegal drugs.

Prohibition should have been a lesson. All the resources currently used to track, arrest, prosecute and incarcerate drug addicts can be returned to the Social Security fund, health care, infrastructure and education coffers. A side benefit is removing the financial incentive for drug traffickers and street gangs.

Of course, criminals will still exist and do criminal things, but there will be plenty of room in the judicial system and jails to adequately deal with those people. We have just saved untold billions currently being spent on the war on drugs. And created lots of jobs in the government-run clinics that will dispense formerly illegal drugs for those who just can't do without.

3. End government tourism advertisements.

Does anyone really not know who we are and what we are all about? Or where on the planet the United States of America is located? Do states really need to advertise their existence to residents of neighboring states? Has the map changed since the 50th state was added? Put these resources into our infrastructure and national parks. Build it and they will come.

4. Pay all elected officials minimum wage.

The minimum wage will certainly be raised to a living wage. Let public service be about service. Put the unspent wages in the education budget so we have a truly educated voting public.

5.  Put Congress and all elected officials on Medicare, Medicaid or whatever the newly passed Health Care Reform Act will be.

When they are deciding what their own coverage will be, it is a safe bet it will actually be fair, equitable and truly useful to those who don't have a choice.

Granted, there are other problems that need to be addressed, but I think I've made a decent start.