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Fun With Sociopaths (Everyday Life in Plainfield)

They are all around us -- in traffic, in the grocery checkout lines, everywhere. These are the people upon whom you wish such misfortunes as spontaneous combustion. If only real life was like that...

I sometimes wonder if my hometown has more than its fair share of sociopaths. You know the type; they act as though they are somehow exempt from having to follow the same laws, rules and regulations as everybody else.

These are the people who make a right turn on red, cutting off a stream of cars that are legally turning left on a green arrow. They come out of a right-turn-only exit and practically execute a u-turn to the left as soon as they are clear of the concrete barrier that was put in place expressly to prevent them from making that left turn. I have no reason to doubt that these are the very same people who enter the 12-items-or-less checkout line with 23 items.

Just this week I saw a U.S. Postal Service vehicle make a left turn on red – and I don't mean the light turned red as the vehicle was exiting the intersection. The mail truck was stopped at a red light, oncoming traffic went through and the truck proceeded to enter the intersection and complete a left turn, while the light remained red. No green arrow, no nothing. If I were a traffic cop, I'd have had a field day with that one.

These are the actions that probably gave birth to the term “road rage.”

I wonder what these people are like at home. I wonder if their children get in trouble at school all the time for blatantly ignoring the rules. Maybe it was one of their children who unplugged and stole my holiday projector, right off of my front lawn. Or who placed a lit cigar inside of my mailbox. Or who ripped out and stole the plastic tree ring barrier from around a tree on my parkway.

Actions such as these, every one of which actually happened, make me thankful that I am not prone to violent acts of retaliation, if only because I don't think I would do well in prison. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to see evil things happen to the little thieves and vandals that wander our streets at night, committing these admittedly minor crimes (but hey, they have to start somewhere).

Where are their parents? Probably out making illegal turns and violating the express checkout limit, I'm sure. Lord only knows they are not keeping proper tabs on their offspring, let alone teaching them right from wrong. I just can't help but wonder whether this is because they are too busy or too important.

Of course none of you reading this could possibly fall into the category of oblivious, poor excuse for a human being that I have described here. After all, a person who cannot read such elementary words as “no left turn” would certainly not be bright enough to read anything written on the level of the Plainfield Patch.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Denise Williams December 30, 2011 at 01:12 AM
Thanks for the laugh Michael. I absolutely love the title "Fun With Sociopaths".
BitterBluePoison December 30, 2011 at 02:53 PM
Michael, you sound a little anal. Maybe find a girlfriend & stop watching other people bend some of the "rules". Rule or not...I can see if traffic prevents me from proceeding through a Red Light, Why wait for a device to tell me it's okay? It's my ticket..unless you are a Police Officer...it' doesn't concern you. Twelve items or thirteen...who cares!? Oh...you do. Hope I get in front of you.
Tawanda The Avenger December 30, 2011 at 04:57 PM
Hey Mike, If it's sociopaths you are seeking, climb on up the food chain to national politics. There you will find an assortment of truly frightening sociopathic behavior, including invasions and bombing of countries which did nothing to America, resulting in hundreds of thousands of deaths and maimings, the attacks on our enviornment by greedy irresponsible energy cartels who will lie and endanger the health and welfare of other humans for profit, groups of citizens shouting " let him die " when asked how America should respond to the uninsured. True sociopaths care only about themselves and not one iota about their fellow man or woman. They will run over their own mother for 5 dollars and them blame mom for being on the roadway. They simple do not care about anyone or anything except themselves and their needs and wants. I think what you are describing is ignorant and thoughtless behavior.
Jay January 02, 2012 at 06:08 PM
This is not a 'Plainfield' issue, it is a societal problem.
Paul Smith January 11, 2012 at 07:59 PM
So true and so funny
Stephanie G. January 11, 2012 at 09:38 PM
@BitterBluePoison - actually it does concern me. The light is red for a reason, the 'device' has a job to do - to ensure the safety of motorists. I could be turning out of a parking lot and onto the street on which you're running the red light and there could be an accident because you didn't see me. It's not just the police's problem, it's a problem for everyone else on the road. This is exactly what Mike is concerned about - a society that thinks they can determine which rules to follow and which to ignore using whatever reasoning they deem appropriate. What happened to courtesy and concern for our neighbor?
BitterBluePoison January 13, 2012 at 02:52 AM
@ Stephanie G - Michael stated " I saw a U.S. Postal Service vehicle make a left turn on red – and I don't mean the light turned red as the vehicle was exiting the intersection. The mail truck was stopped at a red light, oncoming traffic went through and the truck proceeded to enter the intersection and complete a left turn, while the light remained red."...He didn't mention anything about the horrific accident that occurred! I have been driving a looong time & feel pretty sure that I can see other vehicles on the road. I am not saying that a person should blast through a red light just to ignore the law but surely you are intelligent enough to negotiate a left turn without the help of an electro-mechanical device with a mission. If not..PLEASE DON'T DRIVE !
BETH January 15, 2012 at 02:51 PM
I want you for a friend! LOL!! Great Article! A good reminder on how we should conduct ourselves...

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