Drama on the Bus Goes Round and Round

Every day brings excitement when my kids come home from school. My youngest is learning new words and my eldest is excited to tell me about the new stories she gets to read. 

Both kids tell me of the new friends they make and sometimes they even give me the skinny on who was naughty in class. Life is grand in the world of learning. 

The school bus is the “buffer” between school and home. The period when kids have a chance to rest and watch the world go by through the windows while they wait for their stop.

Out of boredom, they might get together with their friends to thumb wrestle or play “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” The secret society of Webkinz stuffed animals pops up on occasion, inevitably leading to discussions about the rumored possibility of adopting another new kitten.  

All in all, the drama on the bus is typically pretty manageable. That is until (cue the scary sound effects here) the regular bus driver decides to take a few days off.

The innocence of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” is replaced with the singing of songs such as The Police Shot my Dog, done to the tune of Feliz Navidad. Granted it’s kind of funny, in a Weird Al Yankovich sort of way, but I cringe at the thought of them giggling to a parody involving police and shooting pets. 

Where do they learn such things? It’s not in school; it's in that darn yellow metal incubator of trouble we call a school bus.

What happened? Kids go in, somewhat normal and preprogrammed to behave in a certain manner, but when there's a substitute driver, all rules are thrown out the window. Well, not literally thrown out … I think. 

From what my kids report, I can only wonder how one kid's screaming turns into a mosh pit of frenzied activity and noise. Last week, I swear I could hear the thunderous cries of children a couple blocks away.

At this point, I can only hope our new driver took a dose of Xanax prior to arriving at work.

When the disheveled driver finally approaches my stop, her timid and near lifeless arm reaches out to pull the doors open. Her blank gaze and strained smile are met with a polite “hello” from me as my children squeal with excitement as they jump off the bus steps.

The doors lock shut, the bus rockets away and I realize how important consistency is in our children’s lives, all the way down to the 10-minute bus ride. 

Thank heaven the regular bus driver is back tomorrow!